Casinos and Conundrums

So my last adventures have been in casinos - this was not by design, mind you.  I got a last minute deal to Vegas a couple of weeks ago, had no plans, so there I went.  Then the following weekend, Boz Skaggs was playing at a local casino, so I went.  It was awesome - both trips.  I spa'd in Vegas, won $100 (and I have no idea how to gamble) and discovered that there are topless pools at most resorts there.  No, I did not partake.  Vegas is a shit storm and I was in the middle of it until about 11 o'clock both nights I was there - met some crazy people, had offers to fly out of town the next day internationally, had offers to do things I didn't know existed on this earth, pretended my hearing was lacking while smiling, and then I went to my room and went to sleep.  Pretty much the same thing at the local card-slinging joint.  But I got to see Boz, and that was definitely worth it.  And I met a potential hunk with whom I have been on a date since then.  Apparently, that's not going to work out since I haven't really heard from him since.  A text or two - but at my age, you either call me and ask me for another date, or I pretty much figure you're moving on to the next best thing you believe to be out there.  Or, I scared him in some way shape or form, which has been known to happen.

So here is the conundrum as we've already covered the casinos:  Why are so many people so afraid to express their true feelings and intentions AND/OR why do so many people express feelings and intentions that are not true?  This is bubbling in me not just from the casino experiences of late - this is bubbling from the people I meet and the people I know in life and the fact that I've spent more time on my own than usual - which is saying a helluva lot, because I know what mega-alone-time means.  And this gives me MUCH too much time to ponder this crazy thing we call life.  But I suppose that's been the point of my West Adventure and one of the reasons the Big Guy placed me on this earth. 

So this is a Not Knowing What the Hell I'm Doing.  I need to make sure I'm doing and expressing what is true to me, and to make sure I'm connected with and choose to bring people into my life that do the same.  And that is sometimes a really hard soil to toil.