My latest excursion was to Canada. The purpose for the trip was multi-faceted, and of course, one of those facets was adventure. And what an adventure it was. Let's just put it this way - I'm pretty sure I've been red-listed in that country. On my way in, I was sent to some thing they call the "Secondary Screening" place after being interrogated by an extremely bitchy woman at the customs desk. Now, I know I can be a smart ass - I've known this for years and my Mom would probably say it started around Kindergarten. But generally speaking, I turn to smart ass tactics only when provoked by someone who is exemplifying behavior of the like, stupidity, or just downright meanness. I don't just take it off the shelf for the sake of shits & giggles - there is a reason behind it. So this woman starts firing at me with stupid (see, there you go, she asked for it) questions and I answered with smart (ass) retorts. Let me tell you folks, don't do that in Canada - they're snake-venom mean. I'm not sure if this woman didn't like my face or found my perfume offensive or what, but that bitch was on a Not Gonna Let Laura In Mission. At the end, I got into the country, but it was questionable for a few moments.
So there's the start - here's the middle. I ate some wonderful food, drank great wines and was in the presence of yet more awesomeness of Mother Nature and her friends. I had a gracious host who introduced me to some of the wonder of what is Canada. This trip was not life-altering as the others I've taken while on my adventure out West. However, it did remind me that when considering a potential hunk (which my gracious host was qualified for until around some time during the second day of the trip) and playing in the game of dating, that you must wear your helmet, keep your eyes wide open and make sure you know your opponent's strategy. And when a flag is down on the play, pay attention to it - it's there for a goddam reason. This all being said, the Potential Hunk and I had a nice time and I'm better for the experience.
And the end was just as entertaining as the beginning. I was nice to everyone. I followed instruction. I was a soldier in line. Then I gave my boarding pass and passport to someone who glances up at me with a raised eyebrow and proceeds to underline SSSS under the "Remarks/Observations" section of the boarding pass with hot pink. Here we go again. I continued to follow rules and smile, but it did no good. I had to go through some machine AND get patted down. They finally let me through, but I swear to the Big Guy, those people were out to get me. I've never had the desire to be featured on a poster, but I have a feeling that my mug may be somewhere hanging on the wall in the Toronto airport. I hope they got me during a photogenic moment.
This is a Not Knowing What the Hell I was Doing - in more ways than one. But I learned some things. If I decide to go back to Canada and the Canadians will let me back in, I now know how to handle the situation. And I was reminded that in the Dating Game, we should stick to our playbook, watch for those flags and someday, we'll get into the end zone. We're all throwing down flags and can't be all things to all people and we have to play in the same game at the same time. Eventually, those of us playing in the Dating Game will find the right teammate, wear the same jersey and scream TOUCHDOWN!!!!
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